Q’s Column: An Independent Voter

I have been alive for just over 23 years, which based on the national average, is less than most. Of those 23, there has been nothing like the past two and a half, for a number of reasons. To focus on one,  watching the political landscape take shape during this time period has been both uniquely fascinating and sickening. Recent events in my personal life, as well as the rash of political controversy in our country have caused me to engage in careful self reflection on my political beliefs and party alignment. I am sure that many other Americans underwent, and are still undergoing, the same thought process. I have come to the conclusion that at this point on the timeline, I do not want to be registered as a member as either political party, and to me, that feels incredibly liberating. If after learning this, you can bare to continue reading, I would like to share with you how I wound up thinking how I do.    

I grew up in the town of Watertown, CT. It is a suburb of over 20,000 people, abutting the city of Waterbury. Despite many of the stereotypes about Connecticut, Watertown is primarily conservative. Just for reference 65 percent of voters in the 2016 Presidential Election in Watertown voted for Trump. But rewinding a bit from 2016, my earliest political identity was as Democrat, because I thought Obama was cool, and I was in eighth grade. I did not know much about the political climate, but he was such a captivating speaker, and a level headed man.

Throughout high school, however, I became more conservative. Many of my friends and family were Republicans and it rubbed off on me. I think back to some of my beliefs from that time in my life, and I feel many of them were truly ignorant. Not because they were conservative, but because of how I chose them. I grew up in a bubble, as I believe many Americans do. People’s political views, like many ideological beliefs, begin to be colored at a young age by those around you. I was not well travelled and I only really knew what was right in front of me in my white, blue collar town. I always maintained liberal beliefs on social issues, as well as a few random issues that would pop up here or there, so I never fully shut down the political left.

When it became time to register to vote, I registered as Republican. By the time I was 18, I considered myself a moderate conservative and felt that I should pick a party, and so I chose the Republicans. Also in Connecticut you can only vote in a primary if you are a registered member of that party, so I chose a party.

I was fortunate enough to attend Brandeis University in Waltham, MA. If you do not know anything about Brandeis, it is one of the most liberal Universities in the country…which is saying something. It is also incredibly diverse. And not just fake diverse, where people have different skin tones, but the same number of digits in their parent’s bank accounts. There were people of all different races, sexual orientations, gender identities, religions, philosophies, economic classes, countries, states, etc. It was an incredible experience and I truly believe it made me a more understanding person. Being engulfed in that environment gave me an idea of how people who are different from me view the world, and why they see it that way. This is something that was almost completely foreign to me previously, and it rubbed off on my political beliefs, very gradually through my four years there.

However, while at Brandeis, I never changed my political affiliation, mainly because I was so conflicted. There were a lot of conservative beliefs I no longer held, but I was not ready to call myself a Democrat quite yet. So I let things simmer, not revealing to anyone, save for my closest friends, what party my name was listed under in the Registrar of Voters database, for a town over two hours away. I was insecure with the idea of calling myself a Republican, due to my changing beliefs and because that R-word was the one and only thing on Brandeis’ campus that was not tolerated.

I had once told one of my friends that I was socially liberal and fiscally conservative, and he told me that all that meant was that I was conservative because no Republican candidates were socially liberal (not true) and that I would always vote in line with fiscal issues. He said that to even flaunt such a reality was a fallacy. That conversation stuck with me, and caused me to tighten my lips.

In the fall semester of my senior year (Fall 2016). There was a poll conducted by one of the University newspapers, The Hoot. It stated that 71 percent of the conservative population on campus was afraid to share their opinions due to verbal attacks. I was one of the 509 students who responded to that poll, and that was exactly how I answered it. I remember staring at the independent bubble, but filled in the conservative one, as I was a registered Republican.

After the article was published, one of my politics professors brought it up in class. He was in disbelief. He did not understand why there was such an intolerance to certain viewpoints. The very next class a student raised his hand in a response to a point about the ongoing election. He began by saying, “I was recently talking to a Trump supporter…don’t ask me why,” and then he laughed, and most of the class joined in with him. This, to me, was disgusting. It was part of the reason why I never became a member of the Democratic party. To say that you should not even be speaking to someone who has different political beliefs than you is a brand of a elitism that I find extremely dangerous and Un-American (normally I do not like using this term but I feel it applies here). I know that not all Democrats or liberals feel the same way that this particular gentleman did, but I know a lot that do.

Now, turning to the actual election. Without going into too much of the nitty-gritty, I was horrified. I had never liked Hillary, dating back to the 2008 Presidential primary, and I did not start liking her in 2016. Without getting into the bulk of the actual political issues here, I believe she is the furthest thing from genuine, extremely out of touch with most of Americans outside of her tax bracket, and wants to be president just to fill a desperate power lust in an obvious way. Turning my head to the other side of the aisle, all I can say is that I was speechless. I did not support Trump, and still do not. I felt that certain things he said about marginalized members of society, crossed all sorts of lines, and were just plain unacceptable. He was running to satisfy his narcissistic personality, and he was uneducated on a myriad of political issues. Not to mention he was a complete loose cannon. I had no idea what he was going to do once elected, and I did not agree with the main tenets of his platform.

I know that was a hard pill to swallow for some, but that was how I felt, and how I still feel. All I can be is honest. In interest of that honesty, I have to confess something that I have never spoken out loud. I did not vote in the 2016 election. I still remember, staring at my blank absentee ballot, alone in my dorm room. I remember jumping up out of my desk chair, balling it up, and throwing it as hard as I could against my wall. It stayed on the floor for two days or so, until I finally cooled down, calmly picked it up, and dropped it into my trash can. I did not want to vote for anyone on that ballot, as is my right to do as an American. I was also pissed that it did not matter who I voted for because Connecticut would remain firmly blue, which it did. Since then I lied to people about how I voted for the same reason why 71 percent of conservatives on Brandeis’ campus did not express their political views. If I had the chance to go back in time maybe I would do things differently, but that’s what happened.

After graduating Brandeis, I moved back home to my small red town and began working at a local newspaper. It was during this time where I came into my own and developed the view points I have today. After living in environments that have conflicting political views, I developed an understanding of who I am and how I feel on most political issues. That’s why this August, I walked down to the Watertown Registrar and changed my party affiliation to independent.

To describe my beliefs, I am a left of center moderate. But when putting political views on a left to right spectrum they become relative, so take that as you will. I am not a registered democrat, partly due to the current political environment within the state of Connecticut, but also because, I do not feel the party, as an entity, has handled the past two years very well. I maintain that I can have liberal beliefs and not be a member of the mainstream liberal party.

I am tired of keeping my political views hidden for fear of being judged. I love talking about politics, and I find it fascinating to engage with people on both sides of the aisle, from all different walks of life. As for those directly aligned with a single party, good for you! I am happy that you have an established political identity. The healthiest thing for people to do is to engage in discussion, even if the person across from you has the same beliefs as they did when you started talking. As for transgressions committed by each party, I subscribe to the belief that the blood is on both of their hands, and a continued dialogue can help us all straighten a few things out, and change future malevolent behavior.

I urge everyone to remember two things. The first is that 99.9 percent of Americans want to make the country a better, more successful nation. This remains true even if we define success differently, or believe in a different way of getting there, so at least we have one thing in common. The second is to remain open minded. For me, the letter next to the candidate I am voting for can change based on the circumstances of the office and its constituency. My stances on domestic and global issues can change based on new data and fluctuating circumstances. If for you the letter will always be the same, that’s fine, just make sure you have done the research to justify it.